Thoughts of a mumbling fantasist

The God Tattoo: Untold Tales of the Twilight Reign – out today!

Thu, 18 Apr 2013 10:55:04 GMT

This post has been a little while in coming. Truth be told I hadn’t much expected it to ever happen – after all, ask anyone and they’ll tell you short story collections don’t sell in the UK. And yet here I am, with another lovely Larry Rostant cover to admire and my name on another book. Now they’re all special – you publish a book that isn’t special to you and it either will be your last or should be. Even for a professional author, each one remains a constant for a period of your life and should trigger an emotion as strong as the smell of freshly cut grass. Where you wrote the book, who you lived with or drank with – they’re all bound up with each one but God Tattoo encompassed most of my adult life as it turned out.

I can remember writing Beast in Velvet and Afraid of the Dark in my student house, Dark of the Moor after work in the shabby (former) offices of A M Heath with that funny smell halfway up the stairs, Shadows in the Library in the little house we rented when we moved to Oxford. Memories for each – almost a different author for some given the intervening years. But they were all for my own entertainment – side-tales to the Twilight Reign mostly written off the back of my discovery of writers like M R James and Lovecraft. Older versions were released on the net and a couple of people even read them; Beast got me my first print publication (despite being a second draft which the editor cut the very last line of) and I still have the never-paid in cheque of $10 as a reminder.

As a collection however, while they belonged together I never really believe they’d appear as a grown-up book. And yet here they are at long last I’m delighted to say – some isolated little tales, others that hinted at the wider conflict and ended up charting the course of the novels themselves. Among there are my own small takes on a serial killer tale, a locked room mystery, several ghost stories, a damsel in distress and Lovecraft’s accounts of horror. But they’re all part of the Twilight Reign world. If you remember the nameless captain from the Di Senego club in Narkang, he appeared there because two of these tales and I didn’t want the Twilight Reign to happen without him. That’s the thing with stories, your emotions get tangled up in them, but I’d not have it any other way.

So here you go, my little stories, all grown up. I hope you enjoy them.

God Tattoo giveaway

Fri, 22 Mar 2013 15:30:22 GMT

Copies of the God Tattoo are on their way to me I'm told, so how's about a couple of them up for grabs? One simple question, best answer/s wins. As usual, points are awarded as much for absurdity, childishness, tangential ramblings and anything else that amuses me at the time.... Answers here, on Facebook, via email, DM, any way you like so long as I read it! But of course, if you post it by hand the dog will probably eat!

So - how does Daken acquire his God Tattoo?

One small NB, it's not on sale in the US until later in the year so I'm afraid this doesn't include you guys. you US-ites will have to have your own comp closer to the time!

Terry Pratchett - what is he good for?

Fri, 15 Feb 2013 11:13:38 GMT

Quite a lot actually!

Another little guest post for your amusement/derision/informed comments... Having been asked to do a paragraph about Pratchett to add to an article, I clearly couldn't keep to such modest constraints and got a blog post all to myself instead!

http://civilian-reader.blogspot.co.uk/2013/02/appreciation-tom-lloyd-on-terry.html

Gods - what are they good for?

Mon, 28 Jan 2013 11:59:53 GMT

No, I've not started a fantasy-themed Frankie Goes to Hollywood cover band - my god, the horror - but I have committed guest bloggery over at Dribble of Ink. Feel free to go over there and tell me I'm talking complete rubbish!

http://aidanmoher.com/blog/2013/01/articles/gods-what-are-they-good-for-by-tom-lloyd/#more-11197

Interview with me!

Wed, 05 Dec 2012 08:40:23 GMT

All about me, which is just how I like it - brought to you by the lovely people at Civilian Reader

http://civilian-reader.blogspot.co.uk/2012/12/an-interview-with-tom-lloyd.html?utm_source=feedburner&utm_medium=twitter&utm_campaign=Feed:+CivilianReader+(Civilian+Reader)

For a little while...

Fri, 23 Nov 2012 14:03:27 GMT

Originally posted by davidbrider at For a little while...

...this ad was up on the Directgov Universal Jobmatch page:

Secret Intelligence Service - Target Elimination Specialist

Job summary

Posting Date: 22/11/2012
Company: Secret Intelligence Service
Location: UK-London-London
Industries: Security and surveillance
Job type: Full time
Years of experience: 5+ years
Career level: Experienced (Non-Manager)
Education Level: Under graduate degree
Salary: £50,000.00 - £60,000.00 per year
Performance bonuses on completion of missions
Hours of Work: Flexitime; Overtime; Shift work
Job reference code: 007
Contact information: mi6recruitment@hotmail.com

Job description

From time to time the UK government has a need to remove people whose continued existence poses a risk to the effective conduct of public order. So we require particularly skilled professionals who are prepared to work on a non-attributable basis to deal with these problems.

The role will involve international travel to a number of countries where individuals need to be removed.

The ideal candidate will need to have no particular distinguishing features so as to blend in and be able to take on new identities as required. They will need to be resourceful in finding ways to accomplish their missions and, in some cases, to leave foreign countries by non-conventional means. The role would suit candidates with prior military experience, particularly in the use of sniper rifles.

The job holder will receive all necessary equipment, including passports, special watches, jet packs, mini-submarines and a Walther PPK.

This role is particularly appropriate for those who like their martinis shaken and not stirred.

To apply for this role, please express your interest somewhere in the vicinity of the large and rather fake-looking rock in Regent's Park.

Sadly, it's no longer there. I guess some people have no sense of humour. ^_^

THE NEXT BIG THING!

Wed, 21 Nov 2012 15:39:56 GMT

Having been tagged by Suzanne McLeod in this meme, it’s my turn to babble about what’s coming up in my little writing life. So once you’ve read this, go check out her books, starting here.

What is the working title of your next book?

Moon’s Artifice – well, The God Tattoo is coming out next, but it’s a collection of short stories I wrote ages ago so doesn’t really count.

2) Where did the idea come from for the book?

You’d think I’d know, wouldn’t you? Unfortunately, I’ve forgotten. Seriously, not a fucking clue...

I first wrote about 50k of Moon in 2004-ish after I’d revised Stormcaller and was waiting for responses from agents about it. I was giving up on ever getting anywhere with the finished book and thought it was time I started something else, chalking Stormcaller up to being valuable experience and practice. And then I got an agent, then a publisher, and Moon fell by the wayside for seven years.

3) What genre does your book fall under?

Fantasy – but where exactly I’m not sure. It’s all set in one city and has no big battles so it’s hardly my usual epic fantasy, but urban fantasy means something completely different. I’m calling it a fantasy action/conspiracy thriller until my publisher tells me I’m talking rubbish and changes it...

4) What actors would you choose to play the part of your characters in a movie rendition?

Up till now, I’d been careful not to get too distracted by thinking this... the characters are who they are in my head so putting an actor’s face on them doesn’t help much. HOWEVER... ;0)

Tom Hardy would be a great leading man as Narin, his skills were wasted as Bane if you ask me and ignored the humanity he can bring. Alexander Skarsgard would have no problems playing his superior, the cold Lawbringer Rhe, while Naomie Harris would be near-perfect for the noblewoman Narin’s fallen in love with, Lady Kine.

As for the rest, I don’t know any actress who’d be right for Kesh but no doubt any film would require her to become a skinny model-type anyway so... Rutger Hauer would lap up the role of Enchei, Narin’s dangerous old friend (but may be five or ten years too old, in which case the kid in me would want Christopher Lambert to deputise) while Gerard Butler (along with having a likely starring role in any Twilight Reign movies) would play the turncoat Irato nicely. For the bad guys, Anthony Hopkins could do Father Jehq in his sleep and either Milla Jovovich or Rhona Mitra would, I’m sure, make Synter her own.

5) What is the one-sentence synopsis of your book?

An inexperienced lawman stumbles over a plot to steal the minds of thousands and send the Empire of a Hundred Houses into chaos.

6) Will your book be self-published or represented by an agency?

It will be published by Gollancz next year

7) How long did it take you to write the first draft of the manuscript?

About 12 months, excluding the time it took to write the proposal at the start (and have that torn to shreds a couple of times by my agent until I’d done it right). Most of my work is done during the first draft though, that’s by far the bulk of the time required.

8) What other books would you compare this story to within your genre?

That’s a tricky one. I’m not claiming this is a ground-breaking novel at all, but I’ve come across very few fantasies it resembles – maybe because for the last ten years I’ve been writing big epic fantasies instead. Having read Mark Newton’s Night of Villjamur there’s a similarity there, set around one city, a murderous plot that has wider ramifications. Ostensibly Lies of Locke Lamora too if you want to work off that basis, but it’s a very different book.

9) Who or what inspired you to write this book?

Heh, does struggling to sell an epic fantasy ten years ago count? Assassins with amnesia are a common enough trope, so I had in my head a thought that I wanted to play with that a bit – not making it the focus or obsession of the story while also precluding the chance that his memory ever comes conveniently back – but mostly I was just looking to do a simpler tale to the one I’d just finished.

The Stormcaller was the start of a million + words over five novels and one collection of short stories, and if I’m honest I might admit readers REALLY need to pay attention and remember stuff to get the best out of it. So I just wanted to go in a different direction and try something else, go simpler on the plot and reduce the amount of magic on show, and play a bit with the cold war spy/conspiracy books the house was full of when I was growing up.

10) What else about the book might pique the reader's interest?

I think it’s a pretty fast read for a good-sized book – 165k words – a handful of characters, one city and spanning just a couple of days. And (while it might be a bit of a risk in the current climate of anti-hero love) a main character who’s not an arsehole to everyone he meets – he may be in a tricky situation but he mostly wants to do what’s right. We also have fox-demons, assassins, warrior-mages, other sorts of demons, a couple of gods... hell, there’s even some romance in there! What more could you ask for?

And as they way this goes is to tag other writers to continue the thread in a week’s time or have some terrible and entirely imaginary calamity fall upon them, I hereby summon the elder gods of authordomship named Joel Shepherd, Mark Newton, Juliet McKenna and Adrian Tchaikovsky to continue this unholy work.

Joel Shepherd can be found here – and I’ve failed to read beyond the first of his books for reasons that bear no relation to the quality. Sasha was excellent and a good example that men can write interesting female heroes that aren’t just Conan with tits.

Mark Charan Newton is author of the Legends of the Red Sun series, of which I’ve also read only the first but still greatly enjoyed it. Are you see the theme of lack of time/slow reading speed yet? There are so many good books out there, many by authors I know, that I feel crap about not pursuing so many series, but from a professional POV want to at least be aware of what they’re doing. Fortunately, Mark’s building a nice reputation without me!

Juliet McKenna – a lovely lady and just as harmless and sweet as she first appears. Honestly, not dangerous at all, no fearsome skills at brutality anywhere in sight... She also writes good books however, and having met her at the last Eastercon I’ve got around to reading Thief’s Gamble fairly recently. Only the first book thus far of course, yes because I’m useless. However, as well as being a good book it’s notable for the approach I think, showing modern, unfussy dialogue etc many years before it was suddenly ‘discovered’ by a new crop of writers!

And finally, Adrian Tchaikovsky is notable for many reasons, not just because he reminds me of an oversized and folically-blessed David Devereux. One of them is the fact that he cunning evaded my first-book efforts by suggesting a reading swap – he’d brave the first novel that was Stormcaller and I’d read his second, Dragonfly Falling. Now Empire of Black and Gold, his first, was good but had some flaws in the way of first novels. Book 2 however, was a major step up and gives a better sense of the excellent series that is Shadows of the Apt. I’ve read six in that series now, somewhat aided by the fact my wife’s also hooked on them and buys them so I don’t have to!

Radio silence + mini book birthday

Wed, 07 Nov 2012 14:22:38 GMT

Slightly off the grid at the moment because I'm editing Moon's Artifice and have to finish it by the start of December. Plus our puppy, Ripley, is still only twelve weeks and taking up a lot of my time/distracting me from things I should be focusing on.

However, it's worth noting that The Dusk Watchman should have been published in the US yesterday and ordered copies should be arriving with people today-ish - so woohoo for that! I hope the wait and the frustration of being good and not buying the UK edition instead will be rewarded with a fitting end to the series!

The Garden Office

Fri, 12 Oct 2012 11:05:21 GMT

Not a writing post this one, just a document detailing some thoughts about getting a garden office because frankly I couldn’t see anyone else having done so and it might prove useful to others.

With the baby on the way, and the search for a puppy starting, I realised a few months back that I need to get an office to put in the garden. The previous owners had had one so I’d seen it in the space and it looked like a great idea, but knowing very little about the process I spent a long time googling companies and trying to work out what I wanted, plus what I could afford. I must admit it hasn’t turned out the best way, but I think I do (or rather will) have something I can use for a good few years to come. So anyways...

A whole lot of googling started me off. Pretty quickly I found this blog which is a good starting point for just getting an idea of what was out there. http://www.prefabgardenoffice.com/

Now you can easily spend 15/20 grand on an office if you want, but my budget just didn’t stretch that far and I was starting with a hope I could find something good enough for more like £5k. In the end this was revised to £7k, plus more than a few extras I hadn’t counted on, but life’s complicated enough at the moment so I’m just chalking them up to experience.

My front runner was a company called Future Rooms who seemed to blow the others out the water when it came to price. Additionally, they were willing to come out to do a free site visit and talk to me about the office – something I certainly needed so we ended up with a spec worked out for about £5500 I believe. And it was there the wheels came off rather. There are some rather slick computer generated images on their website, but weirdly no actual photos and none were provided to me, nor were there testimonials or any other evidence that they’d ever actually built any such office before. Coupled with that was the worrying detail that Future Rooms isn’t a company and I started to back out. They perfectly reasonably wanted a deposit, but the details quoted were for the man who came to do the site visit, in fact he was the only one who answered the phone or emails. So this company which had built loads of these offices didn’t do enough trade to have a dedicated company for it? I know lots of people who have their own companies because it’s a simply thing to do and a quick companies house search told me the guy did have one or two, one being a building firm if memory serves, but there was no such place as Future Rooms.

So I said thanks but no thanks and started looking again with a revised budget. This time round I came up with three firms that looked good, with products I could afford. These were O-Pod - http://officeingarden.co.uk/ - Sanctum http://www.sanctumgardenstudios.com/ - and Warwick Buildings http://www.warwickbuildings.co.uk/

All three looking at their contemporary rectangular designs, about 3m x 2.5m with glass down one side including the door and some sort of window on another wall.

In the interests of mentioning why I didn’t go with some others – Henley Offices were too expensive for the size I wanted as were Cotsmill & Booth’s – and so I believe were Oazis (but checking their website again I can’t remember exactly why, probably VAT on top of their prices but there was something that ruled them out). Smart Garden offices were in the price range but were designed off classic British design – and unfortunately the classic design was 1960s prefab so they look really ugly to my mind, especially in comparison to the designs of other places.

So we were left with O-pod, who’d built the very nice one for the previous owner and therefore were the front runner. I liked their design best too, the Space Pod, but it makes things harder when a company takes at least two weeks to answer any emails and in the end I gave up chasing them. I think they finally got me a quote once I’d gone with one of the others but when they were going to be able to do the work was anyone’s guess. Sanctum weren’t great at responding, but they did get things to me in time and while the price was comparable in the end – factoring other costs such as the base etc – they could install for a few months and I was hoping to get the office in before the puppy arrived as I didn’t want her upstairs where there was carpet for the first couple of months.

Which left me one, Warwick buildings. No. 3 on my shortlist, but they could install relatively quickly. The base I’d been left turned out to be insufficient for anyone so I got a local builder to concrete it, one of several added costs which put the whole project to more like £8k.

Being a bear of very little brain, especially when I’m more focused on other things, I hadn’t fully thought about the details of the electrics side. I had a cable running to the office but hadn’t realised I’d need an electrician to physically install the plugs, and lights, and light switch, and junction box – thinking it was only needed to hook up the cable to said junction box. On top of that cost, I should have factored in the cost of getting proper flooring in, something many companies do as included along with the plugs, but it’s another couple of hundred to get a local firm in to install laminate flooring. As I type there’s a nice man contending with Ripley trying to eat his shoelaces while he does just that.

There were other issues with Warwick I hadn’t expected, the main one being money. I’d assumed all these companies wanted to be paid the same way, deposit down and then payment on completion, but apparently not. Warwick wanted a third on deposit, fair enough if everything being build to order, but the balance ten days BEFORE installation, with just 500 left over for completion. That threw me a bit and almost made me wait for Sanctum to do the work (something in hindsight I should have done but there’s the fun of hindsight) but after a few emails and calls with me pointing out it was highly unprofessional, non-standard and frankly an invitation to defraud me or do a shoddy job, they agreed the bulk could be paid after installation. Which was nice.

Installation itself was a far easier process. They came on time, did a good job and also, importantly to my mind, were nice guys willing to work hard. As a rule I find builders are either really good or a bunch of bad-tempered dicks so I was glad to find these guys came from the first category.

Another bad note however, was the mention in their after-care pack that I should really put another coat of wood protector on the office once they had finished, at least within three months of installation. Maybe this was mentioned earlier, but they were using treated wood and I don’t recall it, but that’s something for others to bear in mind and ask about before agreeing to anything. Now while this is probably just a couple of hours work, I don’t really see why their wood isn’t treated to stand up to the weather on principle.

So, that’s a quick run-down on getting the office, in case it’s any sort of guide for other people doing the same thing. We live and learn, but the potential frustration when you’re spending your remaining savings is such that learning in advance would have been preferable! Once it's all finally completed and I'm in there working I'll post a photo of the final result. Unfortunately, three weeks after installation and I'm yet to see said result.

Reviewer gets it spot on!

Mon, 08 Oct 2012 13:33:29 GMT

Nice to see they get it right sometimes ;0) http://falcatatimes.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/fantasy-review-dusk-watchman-tom-lloyd.html

A Cracking Finale?

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 15:22:42 GMT

Well I like to think so, and Starburst seems to agee!

"...those who are looking for something like A Game of Thrones but with better violence and an actual ending... a cracking finale." Starburst

http://www.starburstmagazine.com/reviews/book-reviews-latest-literary-releases/3451-book-review-the-dusk-watchman

Can't argue with that! ;0)

For Your Consideration:

Fri, 21 Sep 2012 13:03:22 GMT

I thought I'd post the draft cover copy of God Tattoo to see what people think. It's not something I think I've entirely got my head around, how best to describe/sell a collection in a few sentences. Might be of course that it doesn't matter and fans of the series will buy it anyway while no one else would, but one's not required reading for the other so I hope that won't be the case. Anyways...
What does this do for you? Bored? Intrigued? Excited? Enthused? Annoyed? Sleepy? Aroused? Apoplectic?

The God Tattoo, and other stories of the Land:

The history of the Land may remember the slaughter at Moorview or the horror of Scree’s fall, but there were other casualties of the secret war against Azaer – more tales surrounding those bloody years that went unrecorded. In the shadow of memorials to the glorious dead, these ghosts lie quiet and forgotten by all but a few.

A companion collection to the Twilight Reign quintet, these eleven stories shine a rather different light on the Land. Look past the armies and politics of the Seven Tribes and you will find smaller moments that shaped the course of history in their own way. But even forgotten secrets can kill. Even shadows can have claws.

First review

Sat, 08 Sep 2012 08:00:55 GMT

Very nice first review from Elitist Book Reviews - not unexpected given they loved the previous ones and Steve and I have pretty similar attitudes towards ending a series, but still rather humbling to read!

You can check it out here, it's careful to avoid spoilers because the book's not yet out in the US and ruining the ending for people would be cruel, but still a great read if you ask me!

Book signing at Waterstones Reading today now, now experiencing that usual mix of anticipation and fear that no one will turn up... some things won't change until I sell a boatload more books!

http://elitistbookreviews.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/the-dusk-watchman.html

Azaer

Fri, 31 Aug 2012 08:00:14 GMT

And now the last of our three Twilight Reign character posts to celebrate the release of The Dusk Watchman – a view from the other side of the battlefield so to speak. Someone who’d argue that being on the opposing side from the Gods doesn’t make you wrong, just cautious. The shadow behind it all: Azaer.

3: Azaer:

The Twilight Reign: my masterpiece and life’s work. Given I’m immortal, how any mortal might claim to be the heart of this story would baffle even me – if I didn’t already know they’re unthinking apes whose opinions are as weighty as my incorporeal body.

So let me at last introduce you to the true hero of this modest work, me. The one who made it all happen, the one who turned this Land on its head and forced it into a new age. My name is Azaer and I was old before your race had stopped trying to chew rocks for food. I was here before you and I’ll be here when you’re all gone. The Twilight Reign is my story – the scheme with which I changed an entire world.

Have you ever met a God? As a breed they are depressingly dull and simple-minded. Immortality does that to some I suppose – the power goes to their heads. And then empties them apparently.

A being such as myself can only watch for so long as their bovine ‘betters’ tear down mountains and carelessly toss moons into the sky. At some point you’ve just had enough and realised the Land would be a better place if these preening fools weren’t the highest authority in existence. Mention to them the effect additional tides from that new moon might have on the fishing industry and I assure you, the only response will be slack-jawed disinterest and perhaps a lightning bolt in the face. Every story is about power and no God ever handed that over easily, whether or not it’s in the best interests of everyone else. So when it is, the story needs a bit of a nudge from concerned onlookers such as myself.

My enemies call themselves heroes, claim they are fighting for the future of the Land. But it’s their future they have in mind – the needs of the few in power being their only concern. What’s sad is that the vocal group of small-minded idiots who lead the majority are glad for someone else to lead – glad for someone to tell them what to believe in. It’s people like that who believe that a farmboy with a magic sword is the answer to all their problems. Well, so be it. If that’s what they want, why should it just be Gods who can write a prophecy or two?

This story is not about Isak, or King Emin, or even the Gods. They are mere players in my game and could as easily be faceless pieces on a board. I sowed the seeds of the Twilight Reign long before they were born, I fostered and guided the course of history itself and eventually twisted threads around my latest plaything – the young white-eye called Isak. Trust me, he never saw it coming and the Gods certainly didn’t.

So please, enjoy my Twilight Reign. And if you don’t, don’t worry. You’re just imagining those shadows moving at the edges of sight. They don’t really have claws, they’re no danger. Go back to your simple Gods and your petty vices; pretend the world around you will always be this way – always comfortable and familiar, never changing.

Just remember I am immortal. My patience knows no end. I’ll always be there, watching and waiting. Still think some muscle-bound ‘hero’ could beat me?

Daken

Thu, 30 Aug 2012 08:01:06 GMT

Following on from yesterday’s character post by Isak Stormcaller to celebrate the release of The Dusk Watchman, a rather different perspective for you now: Daken, the Mad Axe himself – lover of violence, drink, anything in a skirt and, well, himself.

2: Daken:

Hello my adoring masses – this is your hero, Daken. Today, boys and girls, I’ve been asked to talk to you about the Twilight Reign. Heard it all before? I’m not surprised – Isak’s always been a bit full of himself and the boy’s simple enough to think everything’s about him.

So he was there at the start, I’ve always been of the opinion it’s finishing in style that’s the important thing and I could give you the names of several dozen whores who’d agree with me there. You should trust them, they’re professionals after all. So what’s this story about then? Well, me really. Don’t worry; it’s not being full of yourself if you’re right and luckily I always am.

So, The Twilight Reign: a cluster-fuck of ambition, magic and violence. On one side a shadow so bloody smug it makes (my-technically-lord-and-master) King Emin look like a humble little milkmaid. On the other, well pretty much everyone else come to think of it. Now this shadow’s no fool so the other side spends a long time fighting with itself, or running in the wrong direction, or being stupid enough to think prophecy is something sensible people believe in, or arguing about morality or piety or some such crap... Hang on, why am I on their side again?

Ah yes, I’m a fucking hero. Don’t you forget it neither. And frankly, I’m the only decent hero they’ve got. Ladies across the Land go weak at the knees at one glance from these white eyes, men pale at the very mention of my name – and some of the Goddess I’m on first-name terms with have made some seriously improper suggestions in my direction. I may not be a pretty-boy nobleman like Count Vesna – who’s my only real competition for the title of best hero in this story – but where’s the fun in charming rich women with all the brains of a farmyard animal? Give me a lethal warrior-priestess or immortal vampire any day; the greatest rewards only come with the highest risks after all.

Anyways – every story needs a hero and I’m it. Like I said, it’s the ending that matters and before I got involved... well, let’s just say things weren’t going so well for our side up to then. Altogether too much worrying going on if you ask me, with no one willing to step up and get stuck balls-deep into the situation. Right from the start I told ‘em why they needed me – I’m in it for the glory, I’m in it to be a one-man legend and if that means wading through the blood of mortals, demons and gods, I’m your fucking white-eye for the job.

So keep your magic swords and shiny armour. My reputation’s been made with this here axe and it’s one to make hardened warriors shit themselves rather than face me. Ok, so I might also have a Goddess tattooed onto my chest and she helps out on occasion, but who among you can honestly say you’ve never got a tattoo you now regret? Well exactly, we’ve all had a few jars too many so just remember I’d a fucking hero, best there is, and when I do stupid shit I do it bigger and better than the rest of you put together. Cos it’s not a tattoo of a Goddess, but the Trickster herself, curled up and happy on my chest like many other women have been over the years.

But how I got that is a story for another day I reckon – in fact, I’m gonna go hurt someone until it gets written. The God Tattoo, yeah, I like that title. It’s coming soon, trust me on that, or the goblins of the Gollancz clan won’t know what hit ‘em repeatedly in the face.

Until that happy day when it’s all unequivocally about me, here’s the Twilight Reign – the story of how the Gods put all the last hopes on the shoulders of a young man called Isak, and a hero named Daken stepped in to take charge and save all their arses. And looked good doing it.

Isak Stormcaller

Wed, 29 Aug 2012 08:00:29 GMT

To celebrate publication of The Dusk Watchman and completion of The Twilight Reign, I thought I’d do something a little different to my usual fare and let you hear from the characters themselves. It’s their story after all so without further ado, here’s Isak Stormcaller himself to give you his views:

Isak:

I’m told in your world, when something called a ‘movie’ comes out, the stars are asked to sell it to the world. And I guess this is my story so I’m the star; even if the bastard who wrote it down isn’t sharing any of the money, I could talk about myself for a bit easily enough.

So... I’m Isak. If you don’t think I’m trouble, you probably haven’t met me.

The Twilight Reign, that’s what I’m here to talk about. In lots of ways it’s the story of my life, mostly the crap others have put me through, but as my friend Carel’s always happy to point out, no one likes the most favoured of the Gods when they’re bitching. Fact is most folk don’t like us at the best o’ times and some might say that’s where my problems started.

In stories, half the time the hero’s some farmboy living in the middle of nowhere. Then some prophecy turns up and everything changes. On the face of it, you could say that’s what happened to me, but in those stories you never get to hear who wrote the bloody prophecy in the first place, let alone why. Trust me – if folk were more careful to ask that question and then put the bastard’s head through a wall first chance they get, everything’d go a lot better for the rest of us.

Speaking o’ stories - one of the servants at Gollancz gave me one of their other books to show me what they did all day pretending they weren’t sitting around talking rubbish and drinking tea. It was called The Name of the Wind – pretty good I guess, but the main character was a bit full of himself for someone with such a silly name. Reckon I could take him easily enough despite all his talk. I would have given him one bit of advice though – you turn up to a place like that university and immediately make enemies with one o’ the posh boys, don’t let the little bastard live. Mebbe you can’t run him through like I did in that situation, but you kill him first chance you get. Solves most problems I find.

So anyways, the prophecy wasn’t quite the start for me – I was more the answer to a problem. Our Gods aren’t exactly nice and between you’n me, they’re not so clever either. So they give control of the Seven Tribes of Man to people like me – white-eyes. Warriors who’re bigger and faster than any normal, but we can only have children with our own kind and among the humans of the Land we’re few and far between. So the Lord of the Farlan was never going to have an heir and instead, I got picked by the God of Storms to do the job instead.

So far, so bloody marvellous. Money. Power. Weapons to make me half-invincible and a title that meant I didn’t have to give a shit about much. It’s amazing how quickly a humble wagon brat like me can get used to living in palaces, let me tell you! But like everything else, you start enjoying yourself too much and life kicks you in the crotch. Before long half the bloody Land seemed to want me dead, an invincible warrior’s marching our way and there’s this shadow having altogether too much fun pushing us around like pieces on a Heartland board.

What’s more, there’s something in my head that’s causing trouble of its own, I’m dreaming about a beautiful girl whose got a temper like you wouldn’t believe and, ah, well – turns out I don’t always make the best decisions.

But you lot probably don’t care about that. I know what entertainment the grubby masses like, till recently I was one of ‘em! So this is what you want from the story – there’s blood, a whole damn lot of it, and more secrets than any of us know what to do with. Dragons and other monsters, battles and the fall of cities – schemes within schemes and traitors playing three sides at once.

As Gollancz describe it - the future of the Land will be decided now written in the blood of men. Quite a lot of it’s my blood. I’m pretty pissed off about that bit.

The Dusk Watchman cometh

Tue, 28 Aug 2012 08:00:52 GMT

So publication of Dusk Watchman looms large. The end of a series, the end of an era – or something like that anyway. A time to be reflective; to look back on the last few years of professional authordomshipness and wonder if I’ve actually learned anything in the intervening time. The fact is that I’ve at long last got a complete series to be judged upon, one I’m very proud of. But has the experience taught me anything?

First things first, it taught me some people really fucking hate elves. Seriously, I hadn’t known that back in 2006! Now as you might imagine I’ve read a few fantasy novels in my time, but I wasn’t devoted solely to the genre and wasn’t part of the SFF fan community. So I hadn’t read all the bad fantasy novels that clearly some people have, not nearly enough that I’d be put off the subject entirely and could only hate a book that mentions them.

There was a lesson in there however, one that wasn’t easily learned – the fact that some people are going to hate what you do, unequivocally and without reserve. They’re going to complain about the same things that others say they love about you, it’s a fact of life and certainly a fact of the internet – but it doesn’t mean they’re right.

Following on from that – another lesson might be ‘don’t make your first ever novel the start of a million-word epic’ – a bit late for me now, but a series gets understandably judged by many on the first book. If that’s not perfectly polished and the next book on the shelf is a debut by some guy called Scott Lynch, you’re working hard on the comparison front! I got lucky and lots of people enjoyed Stormcaller, but why make things harder for yourself?

The last one I’m going to mention is this: it taught me that I’m not China Mieville. This may come as a surprise to those who know how hard I work on my pecs, but I mean in a different way. Before I was published, I read books – I often had four on the go at any one time and at least one would be SFF of some sort. But I wasn’t an observer of the genre – I’m not a fitting-in sort of person and was barely aware there was a genre community, let alone how I joined. I’m not good at penetrating to the deeper levels of meaning in books – might be I can make the odd interesting observation and conclusion, but I don’t have a doctoral thesis I can trot out at a convention. I may have fairly high standards in what I want from crazed daemon mayhem, but mostly it involves words like ‘awesomeness’.

Now I certainly don’t object to those who are at the intellectual end of the spectrum, but I spent such a long time at the start of my career utterly paranoid that this was expected of me because... well, in some parts it seemed like it was. And I didn’t want my author membership card to be taken away. Some people – especially those who’ve been part of the fan community for thirty years – want that intellectual face on panels; they want us to weigh in with profound opinions and elevated intellect authors are meant to be noted for.

Once I got more comfortable with the whole author thing, life got much easier as I realised I didn’t have to live up to that. The next Con I go to, I’ll be suggesting a quiet corner of the pub and a handful of writers/fans who just want to talk about stuff. Not a paid-for coffee klatch, just whoever wants to get involved and talk about books etc over alcohol. You want the best of me? That’s where you’re likely to get it and I doubt I’m alone. If Gollancz decided to run that as a monthly/quarterly thing with a couple of writers and half-dozen genre fans/bloggers, I’d certainly sign up.

Notwithstanding all the above, the paranoia, angst, frustration, depression and childishness that most authors experience, there’s one final point to make – one you all probably know.

Being a professional author’s kinda fucking awesome.

It’s not perfect and it’s not a job conducive to mental health or social skills, but I have a long shelf of different editions and languages, fans all across the world and, ah... oh yeah, I get paid for making stuff up! I’m never going to live like my lawyer friends or anything, but it’s above minimum wage just for what’s going through my head anyway.

Some moments you just can’t buy. That electric first time you have an actual book with your name on in your hands, when someone’s spotted reading your book on the tube or someone you’ve never met tells you how much they liked it and asks questions that show they really get what you’re on about. And of course that first time you see a young lady’s eyes brighten when she finds out your not some shabby layabout who doesn’t get paid much, you’re a published novelist and suddenly a whole lot more interesting... Maybe not the time I saw someone taking a photo of my books on the shelf in Waterstones however, I’m still a bit concerned about that one, but you get the picture.

So what has the Twilight Reign taught me? In part, how much I can enjoy life and what’s really important. It’s not always writing, I’ll tell you that for free, but no one does this job to pay the bills for their real interests.

Oooh, wait – it also taught me that most problems can be solved by throwing daemons at the situation. Truestory.

Scheduling tester

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 08:00:43 GMT

For holiday book birthday blog - guessing the wifi networks in Paxos may not be great...

Yup, I've gone to the dark side

Fri, 17 Aug 2012 15:55:44 GMT

Turns out my soul wasn't worth that much anyway...

@tomlloydwrites

Book Signing! 8th September

Wed, 15 Aug 2012 14:07:17 GMT

Just to say, if anyone does want to buy a copy of Dusk Watchman - or, indeed, any others in the series - and get it defaced by me in the process I'll be signing books at 2pm Waterstones in the Oracle Centre, Reading, on the 8th of September.

If you're buying a book, I'll sign with any name you fancy too, I'm not proud - George Martin, Joe Abercrombie, Jaine Fenn...

With luck I'll be doing something similar at the Oxford branch earlier that day, but they've not got back to me yet... if they fail to, I'll just hang around the SF section and anyone can accost me to sign copies then. Well, maybe not anyone. The guy I saw taking a photo of my books on the shelf last week... I'd want to know what was going on there before I sign anything for you! ;0)

Competition winners

Tue, 07 Aug 2012 13:02:00 GMT

Clearly no one got it all right so I’ve assigned random and arbitrary points to every detail I liked as I read each one.

Examples of these include points going to:
John Clark for telling a story and randomly introducing characters in the best spirit of the twilight reign
As Bo for the six verses, wonderfully dodgy rhyming and using a word I didn’t know (I’m assuming it was used intentionally, though given the rhyming...)
Yarravalleyvino for the song I enjoyed the most, but loses one for the outright lie of “Tom Lloyd ain’t no potty-mouth”
Johann for clearly being drunk while writing the song...
Dan for the Crystal Skull called Tourette’s
Greg for returning to the shower scene theme and a disturbing level of commitment

The only answer I’m actually willing to give is the answer to the no. 3, "which occurs most frequently, love of fuck" where, at a count of 57-63, the fucks have it. As for the others, you’ll just have to read the book to find out the answers. But some of you guessed right ;0)

So without further ado, I think the winner has to be As Bo with the Trade paperback runner-up being Greg Land (from Facebook). So send me your details and I'll put copies in the post when I next am forced to leave the house!

The big Dusk Watchman giveaway!

Mon, 30 Jul 2012 10:19:01 GMT

Now that the lovely Gollancz folk have sent me my copies of the book, I reckon I've got a spare hardback and trade paperback to give away. In the spirit of childish humour that we clearly all share, I've decided to make it a (very) mini quiz instead of just 'who wants one?' so riddle me these:

1) Who gets a tattoo of Daken’s name on his arse and why?

2) Continue the popular Palace Guard song (for as many lines as you fancy frankly): ‘General Lahk has only got one...’

3) Which occurs most frequently – ‘love’ or ‘fuck’ throughout the manuscript (in any context or use)? (and bonus point for “why?”)

Obviously, I’m not expecting anyone to get all of these right, and those who've already read the book aren't eligible, so points for entertaining answers/reasoning will go right alongside accuracy. Closing date for entries will be arbitrarily decided by me at a later date, but I reckon you've got about week since I want to post copies out in advance of the actual publication date!

Pick of the Week

Thu, 26 Jul 2012 08:55:16 GMT

A very nice thing greeted me when I was checking the Elitist Book Reviews website just now... me!

They started a pick of the week a few months back I believe to showcase books they never got around to reviewing or authors they want to highlight and this week it's Stormcaller! Needless to say, they're correct in their opinions... Just re-reading their reviews of the series is a huge ego boost that any author needs from time to time ;0)

http://elitistbookreviews.blogspot.co.uk/

Run, bigots, run.

Fri, 20 Jul 2012 08:14:32 GMT

Originally posted by cuddlycthulhu at Run, bigots, run.

See governor with a job opening.
See governor fill the job opening with the most qualified candidate.
See the candidate.
See the candidate pray toward Mecca.
See state Republicans and Tea Partiers lose their god damn minds.

It's not big, and it's not clever

Wed, 11 Jul 2012 09:37:21 GMT

but it's the only brain I've got.... Am reading Paul Mcauley's Eternal Light right now and I realise I'm never going to be a huge fan of hard SF (or at least what looks like hard SF, I don't have the technical know-how to be sure if he's making it up). I like the basic plot and want to keep reading it, but am finding it heavy going with all the technical explanations going on - the mini physics lessons on mass, momentum and gravity that are adding complications into the story at every step of the way.

This is why I love Iain M Banks books. If he wants an awesomely large and fast spaceship to go somewhere, by and large it just does. He doesn't need to explain how it happens because he doesn't care, and frankly nor do I! I think we are both of the "oooh, giant frikkin spaceship!" readership instead.

Despite that however, I'm still going with Eternal Light and very keen to find out what happens. Which has to be a good sign for the book!